Semi-structured interviews - interview extract two

Study Title: Cross-Generational Investigation of the Making of Heterosexual Relationships, 1912-2003

Information about interviewee
Date of birth: 1958
Gender: Female
Marital status: Unknown
Occupation: Sales Assistant
Geographic region: Interviewed at home
Interviewee's name: j_underhill
Interview ID: j_underhill

INT What did your courtship consist of? What sort of stuff would you do? There can't have been a great deal to do?

*Jennifer There can't have been a lot in Marketown, no, not really, I don't know really. [..] I don't know, it's odd, isn't it, used to go to ( ), Beachton a few times, I suppose. His parents were in the RAF, he was an only child [COUGH]

INT Is that how he came to be here?

*Jennifer Yeah, he got stationed at the RAF [COUGH] ( ) his dad. I don't know, go round the town, when he met me from work, I don't know, just a lot of walking really.

INT Did you love him?

*Jennifer I probably did.

INT Did you do anything with him?

*Jennifer Naughty bits?

INT More than kissing?

*Jennifer Yeah, did naughty bits then [LAUGH].

INT How did your folks react, then?

*Jennifer Well, she went ape-shit, I don't know about him, he never said anything. Because that's what, she says, I hope you're behaving and don't do anything rash and don't do anything this, and I said to Jane, what is it I'm supposed to not be doing, you know.

INT Given that she's never spoken to you about it?

*Jennifer Yeah. Which is ironic.

INT Was it just that you had a boyfriend that she went ape about?

*Jennifer Probably, yeah.

INT About your mum and dad, do you kind of, I'm wondering whether, he's the silent type that doesn't say anything in front of you,

*Jennifer Yeah.

INT and then they'd go away and have an argument about something, or he'd go off his head and then she'd come back and

*Jennifer ( )

INT do the dirty work sort of thing. Is that fairly accurate?

*Jennifer Yeah, they used to talk about me and Emily a lot, especially after I had Karen, and me and Emily used to go upstairs, we shared a bedroom, we used to put our ear to the floor, 'cause the kitchen was right below us, they were saying some horrible things about us.

INT He would?

*Jennifer They both were, mm.

INT Like what?

*Jennifer [SIGH] I don't know, it was upsetting at the time, like, sooner we get rid of her the better, things like that. I was sat on the sofa one day watching tele, in the middle and my mum sat on my knee, excuse me, you sat on me. What in hell am I sat on, (somat shitty) on this sofa, and she goes, tut, you're here are you. You see, Emily would bite back and fight and argue, and I wouldn't, and I think that upset her even more really, because I wouldn't fight back. She was quite vicious, she used to hit Sean something awful, and he wasn't very tall, 'cause he didn't sort of grow till he was about fifteen, he had puppy fat, he was a bit chubby (those two), and I came from school one day, and she had him on the floor and she was kicking him and shouting and ( ) off at him. Poor little lad was going blue in the face, so I knocked her off, and you know, slapped her. [COUGH] I've hit her twice now [COUGH], said, my dad come in, she says, I was kicking Sean. I said, excuse me, it was you. I don't know when she's going to stop lying, you're going to get nowhere lying, you're never going to heaven when you lie. And then about two days before I got married to John, [COUGH] she was on about, I'm not coming to your wedding, Sean isn't coming. I'm not bothered, and she said something else, and I've so had enough of you, we had this open stairwell in the room, I just got her up to it, I'm so sick of you, this is so, I went like, I flattened her one, my dad come in, Neil, Neil. He goes, no, you've been asking for that for a long time.

INT Seriously?

*Jennifer Now he starts to stand up for me? And going down in the car to the wedding, he says, are you sure you want to do this? I says, no, but I can't stand it any more with you two. I'm sure we can sort her out. I says, she'll go ape-shit. He says, it doesn't matter, I'll sort her out.

INT How old were you when you got pregnant with Karen?

*Jennifer Seventeen.

INT So would he have been, John is it?

*Jennifer Yeah.

INT Would he have been your first sexual partner, then?

*Jennifer Mm.

INT Are you alright talking about meeting him and

*Jennifer Yeah, well, I met him down town in Marketown, yeah.

INT Was he same age, older?

*Jennifer No, he's four years older, four years older.

INT What, so you met him when you were out or something?

*Jennifer I worked at the Bell weekends 'cause at school, and

INT Is that a pub?

*Jennifer Yeah, sorry, a hotel, yeah, and they had an account there, I had to go and pay at Curry's, and that's where he worked, and I thought nothing of it really, didn't particularly, I don't know [LAUGH], and you know when you're walking down the street and you see somebody, you move, and they move and you move, and the did that, tut, for goodness' sake, so moved to one side, and he goes, oh, do you fancy going out for a drink, I was going to ask you out for a drink one day? I thought, oh, alright then. Then he says, do you know my uncle? I said, no, why would I know your uncle? Because he's called Andrews, he goes, oh, ( ) Andrews the footballer, tut, oh dear, anyway, I thought, well, I'll go for a drink, so that's how that started really.

INT How did he, would you say he swept you off your feet?

*Jennifer No. Mum thinks he did and Aunty Marjorie thinks he did.

INT Why, what makes them think that?

*Jennifer I don't know what makes them think that, because, I don't know, I don't [..] I don't know, mm, I don't tell anybody what's going on.

INT Well, it's hardly surprising.

*Jennifer As far as I'm aware, it's none of their business. If I did start talking about it, they'd jump the subject to somebody else, not interested, so why bother? Mm.

INT How did you come to be sleeping with him, then, if you didn't particularly

*Jennifer I don't know really, I don't know, I don't know, ( ) how am I supposed to know [LAUGH]. [COUGH]

INT Do you feel that, well, there are different scenarios, like I've spoken to people who've said that their virginity was just something they wanted to get rid of. They'd heard, you know, sex talked about as this wonderful thing, and they wanted to find out what the crack were, or that they were pressured into it,

*Jennifer I don't know, it just seemed the next step, I suppose. I don't know.

INT Did you feel like you were in love with him?

*Jennifer Um [..] I don't know, I can't remember, because it's different now, because [SIGH] after I met Gary who was totally different, I knew he was [SIGH]

INT You're looking at things through different lenses, aren't you?

*Jennifer Yeah, and I knew John was not what I wanted, and I didn't, I never felt the same for John, ever, as I did for him.

INT But you wouldn't have known that at the time.

*Jennifer At the time, yeah.

INT Was it planned thing, the first time, or was it just kind of spontaneous?

*Jennifer No, just spontaneous, really, yeah.

INT Were you apprehensive about it or?

*Jennifer [..] I don't think so.

INT Have a drink?

*Jennifer Oh, yeah, a few drinks [LAUGH]

INT A common thing now for young women is that, they were pissed.

*Jennifer No way, no, Jen, I daren't go home drunk, had to be in by ten, for crying out loud. [LAUGH] I don't know how it happened, really, it's amazing, immaculate conception

INT Was it something that, I'll get off this quickly, do you recollect it as being something that was enjoyable or was it just?

*Jennifer God, I don't know.

INT Or just part of being in a relationship, something that you kind of had to do?

*Jennifer I suppose, probably, yeah, maybe, thinking about it, I don't know, yeah, maybe.

INT How long had you been seeing him before you fell pregnant with Karen?

*Jennifer I don't know about [..] about a year, I suppose, maybe less, ten months.

INT And how did they react to him?

*Jennifer Oh, they didn't like him.

INT Because he was older?

*Jennifer A bit older, yeah, he had a car, he was taking me out in the car.

INT Or did they just not like him because?

*Jennifer I think it was just didn't like any men, whoever it was.

INT Were you on any contraception?

*Jennifer [LAUGH] ( ) Until after she was born.

INT (two)

*Jennifer Yes, Jessica's an accident, I was definitely taking the pill and I went to the doctor's.

INT How did you react, when you fell pregnant?

*Jennifer If I don't think about it, it'll go away.

INT How far gone were you when you told them?

*Jennifer Two weeks before she was born.

INT [..] You mean, you didn't show at all?

*Jennifer I was only sixteen, I had a little tummy, I was thinner than I am now.

INT I interviewed one woman and she didn't know she was pregnant until she were actually giving birth, when she was full-term,

*Jennifer I can believe that, because

INT but she was a big woman and she said she'd absorbed the baby, she said it were brilliant, she said, I lost three stone in one ( ).

*Jennifer Yeah, I think I put half a stone on, 'cause they weighed me just before she was born, I just weighed (quite) seven stone. She was a big baby as well, she was seven pound eight, biggest I've had, huh.

INT So had you always been thin anyway, or do you think it was like stress as well?

*Jennifer Probably both, I suppose, a bit of both, I don't know, ( ) at the time.

INT How far gone were you when you found out you were pregnant?

*Jennifer I don't know really.

INT What I'm getting at is, did you carry that secret around with you for a long time?

*Jennifer Yeah.

INT Christ. And did he know, John?

*Jennifer Oh yeah, his parents knew, but mine didn't [LAUGH].

INT Good at keeping secrets, your family.

*Jennifer We had a row, (stood near fire) and she says, I'll swear blind you're having a baby and all this and that, and I says, oh, well, for god's sake, for once you're bloody well right, aren't you.

INT Your mum said that to you?

*Jennifer No, I said that to her.

INT No, she said, I'll swear blind you're having a baby?

*Jennifer Yeah, yeah, and um, she was, huh, well, when is it due then? I says, I don't know why, but I looked at my watch, like you do, I said, in about two weeks. That was that, I was shipped off, away, out. [LAUGH] What? It's nowt to do with her.

INT Was she not surprised, not at you, I'm not surprised at you, was she surprised, I didn't mean it

*Jennifer I don't know, it's the only bit I remember of it really, I know I had my back to the fire, so she must have been in front of me, I don't know. I can't even remember what she looked like, or nothing, really, apart from that.

INT Just the red mist. Where were you shipped away to?

*Jennifer A home in York for unmarried mothers who'd been naughty.

INT And were they all similarly aged naughty unmarried mothers?

*Jennifer Oh, yes, all of us were, about eight of us. Her and the doctor organised it, and a horrible midwife.

INT What were you told about what was going to happen? Are you alright talking about this?

*Jennifer Yeah, that I was going and that was that, I didn't have a say, I had no right to have a say, it was their house.

INT Did you attempt to argue, I mean, I know you said you wanted it to go away,

*Jennifer Mm.

INT Had you thought about any, planned what was going to happen between you and John and his family?

*Jennifer No, not really, no. [..] No I don't think I had really, I don't suppose you do, do you, I don't know.

INT And how did they react when you suddenly got shipped off to some home for delinquent young women?

*Jennifer His parents?

INT Yeah, and John, as well?

*Jennifer Nobody really said anything at all about it, they were all quite happy about it, really, as far as I can remember.

INT Do you feel like they all kind of colluded in it together?

*Jennifer Oh, yeah, yeah, must have done, really. Mum and dad had made a decision, and that was that.

INT And what, that the baby was going to be given away or something?

*Jennifer Mm, it was ( ) do with them, she said, 'cause they lived here and ( ), and that was that.

INT How did you feel?

*Jennifer Oh, I don't know, annoyed, upset, angry.

INT Did you want to keep your baby?

*Jennifer I was going to keep it [LAUGH], and that was that, yeah. [..] I never thought it wasn't, she wasn't going anywhere else.